Carl, You Rat Bastard

Techno at 7 a.m.? Really?

WHO LISTENS TO TECHNO FULL BLAST AT 7 IN THE MORNING??

My upstairs neighbor, that's who.

"Carl" (I put quotations because I'm not entirely sure that is his name) has some volume control problems. I had a feeling there might be some trouble when I saw him hanging a disco ball on his balcony the day he moved in. But it's not the kind of thing I expected (i.e. loud parties).

Here's a run down of some of the noise issues:

• Carl likes to stomp when he walks. I keep trying to get a good look at this guy because I swear he's got cement boots on his feet. Every time he moves my entire ceiling shakes.


• He likes to listen to his music, very loudly, at odd times. I'm talking level 11 loud.


• But what's annoying about this is that he will listen to like, one song on repeat. Bomp chi bomp chi bomp chi. Then it stops, and I'm all, "whew," as I grasp the handle of the bat ready to bang on the ceiling. Then I hear, BOOM BOOM BOOM. Oh yeah, it's Carl running across the room to hit play again. And here it comes: bomp chi bomp chi bomp chi...


• Inevitably the bat is used to bang on the ceiling - the universal code for shut the fucking music up. And Carl always turns the volume down. But what bugs me is that this happens every time and he continues to turn his music on as loud as it goes at times like 11:40 p.m. on a Tuesday night - does he really think that's not going to disturb anyone?

Thank you, that is all.