Aid

Katrina clean-up could be the biggest Red Cross relief effort in its history.
Please help if you can.

More:
Financial contributions are greatly needed, and provide The Salvation Army with the funds to purchase what storm victims need. They also allow The Salvation Army to assess the unique needs of individuals and families, as well as put money back into the economy of those communities affected by the disaster.

A $100 donation to The Salvation Army will feed a family of four for two days, provide two cases of drinking water and one household clean-up kit, containing brooms, mops, buckets, and cleaning supplies.

Go here for more ways to help.

Target is my best friend

I just bought a pair of Mossimo jeans at Target and they fit me beautifully. They're not too long or anything.

Now I'm debating on what to do with the rest of my afternoon off. I am wavering between the following options:

A. Sort through my closet and organize the clothes I plan on taking to Buffalo Exchange this weekend.

B. Workout. I'm thinking Tae Bo.

C. Take a nap.

I'm leaning toward option C, but whenever I get an afternoon off I always tend to go for option C and I'm really trying to become a more productive person.

Betty Crocker spiked my diet coke

I didn't make that chocolate cake. Instead I baked chocolate cheesecake brownies. I also made deviled eggs for no reason, and then I made some penne pasta with olive oil, white wine vinegar, fresh ground pepper and fresh mozzarella for my dinner. THEN I cleaned for four hours. FOUR HOURS. I wiped, scrubbed, dusted, vacuumed and swept until I was drenched in sweat. Then I washed, folded and put away laundry. I even cleaned the little rings around the burners on the stove - something I don't think I've done before because those bad boys are still soaking in some soap and water in the kitchen sink. I used an entire roll of paper towels, almost an entire spray bottle of "Orange Clean" and 3/4 of a container of Tom Thumb "Remarkable" brand disinfectant wipes.

A day late, a few hundred dollars shorter

Ha! I just realized that yesterday was my one-year blogging anniversary. Now I have a reason to justify baking myself that chocolate cake tonight.

I was going to say something about how I've come a long way in this past year, matured, grown as a person, developed more self-confidence and independence...but then I just looked back over some of my recent posts, including the one where I told you guys about vomiting in a Victoria's Secret bag, and realized that yep, I'm still pretty much on par with my very first entry.

I have a hole in my arm

It's not very big but I'm pretty sure it was caused by a spider, and I know that rat bastard is still crawling around in my apartment somewhere.

hammered: the wedding recap

My favorite/most amused moment was when I was frantically trying to weave my way through a maze of slightly (read: entirely too) drunk receptionites en route to the microphone to deliver the speech I've worried about for a month, when a somewhat older woman I did not recognize stepped directly into my path, shoved a pastel blue package into my chest and said, somewhat gruffly, "Make sure Katharine and Steven get this."

I'd say the wedding went off well. There was some concern that I was going to ruin the whole thing by either A. wearing flip flops to the bridal luncheon or B. wearing my glasses during the ceremony. I wore neither, and saved myself a few evil glares.

The speech turned out OK, I think. People laughed and my sister thanked me when I finished. She actually said I was a good public speaker. That made me laugh. I was just glad I wasn't the only one that gave a speech.

Another memorable moment: My cousin Stephen turns to me and says, "Your mom is sloshed!" Ha! I laughed, and replied, "Are you KIDDING me? Have you seen your mom lately?" Cue a glance from the both of us to the dance floor, where, Stephen's mom has her arms raised into the air and is bouncing along to "Sitting on the Dock of the Bay." Alone.

Yes, Stephen and I nod in agreement, "HAMMERED."

*******

Some photos I took while in Houston. I'm going to add some more (relevant ones) later. Enjoy.

IT'S OVER!

Thank the Lord.

Well, I'm back. Good times were had, as well as stressful. I'll give a full recount of the marital extravaganza later, but for now I'm looking forward to going home and unloading boxes full of hand-me-down kitchen shit that I didn't feel like getting out of the car last night.

ADDENDUM:
Does anyone have any good crockpot recipes?

Count Chocula

When they say chocolate may be good for you, I don't think they had in mind the consumption of an entire King Size bag of M&Ms in a matter of an hour and a half. I'm just saying.

I think it may be time for me to admit I have a problem.

I always knew I was a genius

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Now what remains to be seen is if I will save or destroy the world. My guess is the latter.

Speaking of destroying things. My sister's wedding is next weekend. I realize you are all tired of hearing about it. Hell I am too. I told my mother I didn't want to hear the word dress ever again.

But here's the thing. I have to give a toast/speech, as is customary for the maid of honor. I have no clue what the hell to say. The last time I was a maid of honor I lucked out - the guy in charge of calling on people skipped over me (thank God too because at that point I was telling the drink waiters that the empty seat beside me belong to my "date" who was mysteriously outside "smoking" every time they came back with more wine and that "yes, by God" he also wanted another glass and "Yes, dammit we need two glasses"). The bride was also glad I got skipped.

But this time it's quite mandatory and I'm pretty certain no one is going to forget about me as I am the ONLY bridesmaid.

So I need some advice/help/suggestions here. I need to come up with something short/sweet and please Jesus none of that sentimental shit because well, if you haven't noticed here on this blog, I just don't do sentimental.

Help!

Oh, and as a precaution I've got my cousin tied to a verbal contract that she is to regulate my intake of pre-speech alcohol to only one drink.

signify

I'll never forget learning the word "akimbo." It was second grade, circa 1987. I was telling my friends that my middle inital, "S," stood for Sandy and not Sarah. I do not know why. I'm pretty sure it had nothing to do with the movie Grease. Right about the same time our classmate Roni T. had returned from a family vacation to Hawaii and insisted that we start calling her "Leilani: The Hawaiian Princess." Mrs. Ship, our teacher, who coincidentally was quite (read: extremely) large and hefty, stood in front of the green chalkboard, hands on her hips and her right foot jutted out, demonstrating "akimbo."

what is wrong with me?

I have now agreed to train for a marathon with not one, but two different people.

I blame alcohol in both instances.

Recap

This will tell you pretty much all you need to know about my sister's bachelorette weekend: I threw up in a Victoria's secret bag. In my sister's car. With my mother and aunt in the backseat.

The bag was gently placed curbside at a stoplight in downtown Houston.

In other news my teeth feel better.