ahh, the holidays
SEASONS GREETINGS:
I have just chopped a piece off of a 10" x 12" slab of Hershey's chocolate mysteriously left in gold wrapping paper on the table in the office kitchen. I think it, at one point, said Season's Greetings. Now it says "Sea...Gr..s" (judging from my own experience, the status of the slab, and the mangled letters - cutting the chocolate evenly is really not an option).
SOUNDS OF THE SEASON:
voice from the other side of a cubicle:
"Where the fuck is the fucking talking Barbie..."
CHRISTMAS CONFUSION:
Scattered next to the mammoth slab of chocolate are bite-sized Snickers. Upon closer examination, it is obvious that these Snickers are leftover from Easter. (purple, pink and blue wrapping). It seems as if someone is trying to pass these dated candies off as Christmas candy - but I'm on to your clever schemes whoever you are.
(I guess I should mention that I ate some anyway)
PHANTOM SANTA:
Gifts keep magically appearing on my desk. It's like the maids on a Cruise ship - you never see them come or go, but when you return your room is always clean...
OOPS:
I just found a chocolate smudge on one of my story assignments.
HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS: So I'm headed to big ole Ruston on Friday where I'm sure, as always, someone will cause a scene during the pre-dinner prayer (required at my grandparents house).
Here are some helpful hints for coping with the fam:
Movie breaks are always good - finally everyone will shut up and you can quit making excuses for why you missed the last holiday. I recommend this. And a new favorite.
And, always make sure you are well stocked.
That is all - Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Holidays, etc.
I have just chopped a piece off of a 10" x 12" slab of Hershey's chocolate mysteriously left in gold wrapping paper on the table in the office kitchen. I think it, at one point, said Season's Greetings. Now it says "Sea...Gr..s" (judging from my own experience, the status of the slab, and the mangled letters - cutting the chocolate evenly is really not an option).
SOUNDS OF THE SEASON:
voice from the other side of a cubicle:
"Where the fuck is the fucking talking Barbie..."
CHRISTMAS CONFUSION:
Scattered next to the mammoth slab of chocolate are bite-sized Snickers. Upon closer examination, it is obvious that these Snickers are leftover from Easter. (purple, pink and blue wrapping). It seems as if someone is trying to pass these dated candies off as Christmas candy - but I'm on to your clever schemes whoever you are.
(I guess I should mention that I ate some anyway)
PHANTOM SANTA:
Gifts keep magically appearing on my desk. It's like the maids on a Cruise ship - you never see them come or go, but when you return your room is always clean...
OOPS:
I just found a chocolate smudge on one of my story assignments.
HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS: So I'm headed to big ole Ruston on Friday where I'm sure, as always, someone will cause a scene during the pre-dinner prayer (required at my grandparents house).
Here are some helpful hints for coping with the fam:
Movie breaks are always good - finally everyone will shut up and you can quit making excuses for why you missed the last holiday. I recommend this. And a new favorite.
And, always make sure you are well stocked.
That is all - Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Holidays, etc.
posted by lauren at 4:56 PM
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