Sometimes, Somedays

Sometimes I just get a feeling like everything is fitting together nicely. That my life, more or less, is finally on the right track. I'm driving to work thinking, I really love my new job. And I do. But then small things, or big things, happen that make me wonder what it is that I am doing. What should I be doing. And I guess everyone has to deal with this - this second guessing of a sort. Sometimes I wonder about those people who really seem to have it together. Do they really have it all that together. Are they really that successful, smart, good-looking, ambitious, and happy. Something's got to be amiss. Nobody can have the best of all worlds. I look at my life - job going well, family not so well. At least I am at a point of dealing with my family, I think. But then when I start to think about it, I'm not really sure. To me, being happy is all relative to a specific point in time. That is, I can be happy at this point, right now, when I am laughing at a joke that was just told. But after the laughter subsides, after the evening ends, there is still the shit I have to come back to. the shit that I've created in my life, whether it is shit revolving around family or friends or relationships or work - my own neurosis really.