Slight Mission Failure

I just ate a gigantic cookie. It was made with oatmeal and coconut and chocolate chips and white chocolate chips and raisins. At first I was only going to eat a small bite. Save the rest for another day. Then I broke off some more. Then I said fuck it and ate the whole thing. I washed it down with a potent iced coffee. Now me no feelz so good. And as Mike so graciously pointed out as I disclosed this information to him, now I'll have to eat plain mixed greens for dinner.

I'm writing a letter to willpower.