returning, like sun

Anyone still read this?

2010-04-29T08:25:00.000-05:00

If so, I'm over at Tumblr now: laureninnocenzi.tumblr.com

Update

2009-02-10T15:49:00.000-06:00

I have not had a diet coke today.

Here's to 2008

2008-12-30T18:59:00.002-06:00

It's interesting that my primary concern upon the eve of the new year is how to create a concoction to eradicate myself of a bottle of raspberry vodka. I had an initial resolution-type thought to attempt to cut back on booze. Haha. Hah. Hah. I saw something in one of the girly mags—Self, Shape, one of those—about how a person decided to work on her posture as a New Year's resolution. Perhaps I will aim for something like that. Helpful and achievable.

I'm hungry.

Dreaming

2008-11-17T17:03:00.004-06:00

I had a tornado dream last night. All the Internet research I find says that dreaming of tornadoes means you have some sort of turmoil or volatile situation in your life. However, these theories all seem to be responding more or less to nightmares. Which didn't seem to be the case here. In my dream, an old friend and I were driving around in the car she had in high school (maroon Corolla) through sort of a mountainous and green area. And there were tornadoes developing all around. We were trying to avoid them and thought we needed to stop for cover until they blew over. We pulled up to a gas station type place and asked the attendant if we could use his basement (which seemed to be more of a TV/recreation room). The attendant did not seem to be aware of any tornado, nor did he care. He also had on overalls and a plaid shirt. He declined our request, so we shrugged and just kept going. My friend had to do some maneuvering to avoid the cyclones and we eventually made it back to her house. Where we took off our shoes. We never really seemed frightened at all by the tornadoes. I think I called my mom when I got there (but my mom was different in the dream than real life. Perhaps more of a "mom" especially because I called to tell her I wouldn't be home for dinner and my real life mom would never be making dinner). That was it. No cold sweats, no screaming, no sudden jerking awake. So does the tornado dream theory still hold up if it wasn't a nightmare situation?

2008-11-14T16:32:00.002-06:00

Now that we have Facebook, I don't really have much fodder for this place anymore. Mostly cause all the details of my life are pretty much spelled out over there — via pictures from other people. Thank you to that childhood friend who found those class portraits from Junior High.

Hopefully Pags doesn't get excited and go hunt down pictures from college.

I'm going to ask Mike what to write about. Hang on ...

...

He says to write about how the cat puked all over the bed last night shortly after Mike awakened me with sounds of what I thought might be a sex dream — "oh yeah, MmmHmmm..." — but later found out was a dream about me being pregnant. Wtf? It was an interesting night. But made coffee a necessity this morning. Which I did not procure until around 11am. The horror. I had started growing horns.

I'm asking Mike to give me another topic. No one wants to read about cat puke and sex dreams and coffee deprivation induced monster horns. ...

...

He says to write about Thanksgiving. Oh that's exciting. No wonder he's not updating his blog either. We have plans to go bowling and eat Turkish food. A good plan. We did this last year and it was the best Thanksgiving ever. Until I threw my lamb leg at the belly dancer and punched the hostess in the face. Just kidding. I don't remember if there was a belly dancer.

OK, going for another topic. One more. Let's see what Mike says this time. ...

...

Soup?

Not much I can say there.

Soup.

Thanks Mike.

Trying not to disturb the cat

2008-10-05T15:49:00.000-05:00

I made pumpkin bread. I am drinking a beer. I have a twitchy white kitten holding me hostage to the computer chair as she has cemented herself upon my lap. Prior to, I was thinking about heading to the couch to read some more of Pnin, which despite my reluctance to dive into, I am actually starting to enjoy. But alas, I have decided to oblige the cat for a few more minutes — she is purring and she misses her "daddy."

Fall is my favorite time of year. It's my favorite change of seasons. I love the crunch of the leaves under my feet. And the crisp air and blue skies. Before I lived in Chicago, where there actually is a proper Fall, I think I liked the idea of the season. You know, in the South it goes from hot to hot to warmish hot. But godammit I was going to try to wear an argyle sweater, and inevitably by the end of the day would be sweating buckets and have to ditch the sweater for the soggy tee underneath. We're not quite in sweater here weather yet. But the hoodies and cords are out. (note to self: I should figure out what I did with my winter clothes.)

Some boring facts of my life:

Last night I made ratatouille with my bounty from the farmers market. There's something to say, certainly, for fresh produce, it makes any recipe better. But nothing beats a fresh tomato, sliced, with a little sprinkle of salt and pepper.

Next weekend we will attempt to go apple picking. And stop at the Cheese Castle.

The beer I am currently drinking is a Wisconsin Amber from Capital Brewery. I got it at Trader Joe's. Along with a $3 bottle of wine.

OK, time is up for the kitty. I have to go find my phone since I'm betting that the kitten's father will be wanting a ride home soon.

I need a new book to read

2008-08-18T17:58:00.000-05:00

Anyone have any recommendations?

Poor decision making skills

2008-08-13T11:07:00.000-05:00

I made myself go for a run last night even though my body felt exhausted. Now I have a giant headache.

Also as a direct result of said running, I missed meeting Mike at the bar. He was there alone.

Oops.

Being a Mrs.

2008-08-11T21:41:00.000-05:00

Whew. Well, we did it. As you all know. And we got back. And rested and ate more and picked out a new buffet/sideboard that totally rocks. We put the wooden chicken that we got as our memento from Santa Fe on top.

Being married doesn't feel a whole lot different. Everyone keeps asking me that. I would definitely absolutely say that I am happy. Happier. Joyful ;) I like it. Of course. But I was a little irritated that Mike wouldn't carry me over the threshold. Pansy.

I should've kept a journal on the trip, because there is so much ground to cover, and I don't know where to begin. With Paige showing up with pink eye, my mom getting altitude sickness, rolling into the local roadhouse with a 3-month-old, Alberto and Ben as the dueling drunks, Dave's awesome new hat, and racing to the Lamy train station, things didn't get boring. I absolutely fell in love with New Mexico (you thought I was going to say my husband, didn't you? But I was already in love with him). The landscape is amazing. And being up on that mountain, away from the city, looking at a clear sky with all of the stars at night, and the clean air. Just awesome. We watched sunrises and sunsets. We drank beer and margaritas and champagne. We ate chocolate covered strawberries. We became aware that consecutive meals involving green or red chile might not be the best idea for a sensitive stomach. We climbed up steep ladders into the ruins of cliff dwellings and then down into a kiva where tribal meetings were once held. We bought some jewelry. And the wood chicken. And a woven rug. We saw paintings by Georgia O'Keefe, and then saw the landscapes she painted first hand.

I can't wait to go back. I can understand why they call it the land of enchantment.

Countdown!

2008-07-22T10:42:00.000-05:00

Well I guess I am thankful that I'm not stressed out by work this week, since Saturday we leave for New Mexico. I can't believe it's already here! I just hope my family behaves themselves. And Paige and Alberto. ;) I'm looking forward to checking out the mountains and deserts and pueblos and art and everything. I want to do some hiking. I want to check out some galleries. I want to buy a piece of turquoise. Oh, and yeah, I am looking forward to getting MARRIED to Pantagrapher, who—I won't ever tell him this to his face—is my favorite person ever.

A few things

2008-06-24T18:34:00.001-05:00

-Going to Louisiana this weekend to visit my grandma.

-The Roomba is going right now and it keeps getting stuck on stuff.

-Mike is insisting on painting an "accent wall" in our living room while I'm gone.

-Lula hasn't moved from her spot on the guest bed in three days.

-My blood pressure is high. No, really. I went to the MinuteClinic this weekend and the lady said so.

-I'm eating bacon for dinner.

Lots of things happening

2008-05-20T09:28:00.001-05:00

Well folks, we're getting very close. Only two more months! (ish) And Mike and I will be joined in mawwage. Frightening that we will be a Mr. and a Mrs. I've got most of the plans done. Having a half-elopement is a lot less stressful. At least I hope. We'll see when we get there. But as far as I know there will be food and cake. And booze. And an ambient sound system with the option of iPod hookup.

In other news, my Dad is trying to plan a post half-elopement reception for us in Louisiana for extended friends and family. We finally settled on a date -- nearly three months after the ceremony -- due in part to the LA Tech football schedule, my work, and family/friends' prior obligations. Dad called the other day and said he was overwhelmed with planning and was thinking about hiring an event planner. (See! See! I said. I told him planning this sh*t is stressful!) We do have an awesome band secured for that party and the contract provides that they will learn three songs special for the event. Any suggestions?

Not going outside today

2008-05-11T15:37:00.000-05:00

Dear lord the wind is about to blow my apartment away. It also doesn't help that there is some weird tarp thingie on the roof next door that's been flapping incessantly and is so loud it makes the weather seem worse, or well, just more apparent. I guess.

At any rate, I'm about to go strap on a backpack with a parachute inside. Just in case.

Fleurs?

2008-05-05T15:39:00.001-05:00

Anyone have any suggestions for my bridal bouquet? I have no clue and apparently I need to specify what I want.

Slight Mission Failure

2008-05-02T15:49:00.000-05:00

I just ate a gigantic cookie. It was made with oatmeal and coconut and chocolate chips and white chocolate chips and raisins. At first I was only going to eat a small bite. Save the rest for another day. Then I broke off some more. Then I said fuck it and ate the whole thing. I washed it down with a potent iced coffee. Now me no feelz so good. And as Mike so graciously pointed out as I disclosed this information to him, now I'll have to eat plain mixed greens for dinner.

I'm writing a letter to willpower.

Thank God Some Sun

2008-04-07T11:02:00.001-05:00

Finally. Mike and I spent this weekend taking full advantage of the warming. We opened all the windows, walked to the park, played Frisbee, bought a grill, grilled some shit, sat on the balcony, ate a Mango. It was awesome. And about time. I'd almost forgotten.

Give me the Italian waffle

2008-03-19T15:08:00.000-05:00

I ate an Italian waffle plate for lunch. Waffle + chocolate ice cream + a shot of espresso. It rocked my afternoon. But now, I want a nap.

I've been trying to find a suitable "elopement" dress. Although, I guess we're technically not eloping as Mike broke down and convinced me to invite our immediate family members. My dad is super jazzed. Not sure about the rest of the fam (no response from sister; mom claims she will be on safari). Guess that might be due in part to the ceremony being scheduled for a Tuesday night. Oh well. I guess I'm just following tradition of not doing things the right way.

At any rate, I can't wait to get to Santa Fe. I'm ready for a vacation. I haven't taken a real summer vacation (more than 3 days) since I was in college and actually had a summer break. Geez, six years of no vacation! That's so ridiculous! Sometimes I really dislike living in a country that thinks overworking means working normal hours.

Not much else going on. Spring is coming!

depleted

2008-03-10T13:45:00.001-05:00

I used to be smarter. Seriously. I used to feel like I was smart. Now I spend most days feeling like a blundering idiot.

Then there are times, particularly at work, where I am required to address something that is borderline ridiculous. Although I try not to act like an idiot, because I do not enjoy the feeling of having sub-par intelligence, I often find myself desiring to respond in gibberish.

uh oh

2008-03-04T13:49:00.001-06:00

Somebody sent our office the biggest cookie bouquet I've ever seen. Bigger than the one my sister sent to my sorority during college rush so they would let me join.

I need some water, but I have to walk by the cookie festival to get some. Ah!

update

2008-02-27T13:15:00.000-06:00

Lean Cuisine's butternut squash ravioli is delicious.

That is all.

Enough already

2008-02-15T09:34:00.001-06:00

I need to go somewhere warm.

Lent

2008-02-06T12:59:00.000-06:00

I think I might try to give up soft drinks for Lent.

You might wonder why I feel the need to participate in Lent rituals as I am not Catholic nor am I religious. I think it's because I can't stick to the new year's resolutions (in fact I made none this year knowing that). But a month and a half? I might be able to swing that. We'll see.

One time, in college, someone I knew gave up alcohol. I know. She was crazy.

New Plan

2008-02-03T10:53:00.000-06:00

I guess the tipping point was when I found myself breaking down over the phone spouting out "I-can-not-handle-this" between broken sobs and in spite of a huge three-day old stress ulcer in my mouth that made it painful to form words. You see, the garage door wouldn't go down on the coldest day of the year and I was standing there watching as it would creak about 1/3 of the way down and immediately bounce right back up; freezing my ass off, late for work. I'd had yet another argumentative phone call with my dad the night before; he wasn't too jazzed about the catering proposal. The one that I'd had revised three times already. Then I get an email that morning from another concerned party that the menu choice really wouldn't be suitable for my guests. And then my Dad asks why we don't have champagne. I remind him that he gave me a budget and then keeps insisting that I invite more and more people that are his friends, that I do not know. We can't afford the champagne.

After I got the garage door to close, I realized that I could not spend the next eight months like this. I'm pretty sure Mike doesn't want to field any more meltdown phone calls while he is as work either. So we talked and we decided that the traditional wedding might not be the best option for us.

But then I had a meeting with the wedding planner. I'd already canceled on her once, so I figured I should go. Perhaps someone helping me professionally would put me at ease. Ha. Not. at. all. In fact, I'm glad I did go to that meeting because it made me realize without a doubt that Mike and I would be making the right decision. She kept asking me "So...what do you, you know, want to get out of your wedding?" Tell me, how do you answer that? Isn't the point of a wedding to get married? Then she kept asking me about all the detail stuff, like themes and floral and color and food and music. And I don't know. I told her I just want it to be easy and simple. She seemed confused by that.

That evening, Mike and I determined that we would get married our way. I'm not sure if it's technically eloping though, because we've told everybody that's what we are doing. My mom is relieved, she said. My dad is cool with it. It seems to be fine. We've picked a place that I am so excited about I can't describe. In the mountains. We'll go for four days, get married, relax. And then we'll celebrate with our friends and family when we get back. This is a much, much better plan.

wedding planning sucks

2008-01-30T13:51:00.000-06:00

I thought this was supposed to be fun.

Some words that have been going through my head today

2008-01-24T12:58:00.000-06:00

Ploop

Parcheesi

Elope

Cupcake

Schmoodle

Dunder Mifflin

Changing gears

2008-01-15T10:17:00.000-06:00

If I were a politician, I would definitely be a flip-flopper.

So, I think I might be getting sick. My nose is super runny, I've been sneezing all morning, and I felt like a big bag of heavy bricks when I woke up. It didn't help that Lula plopped herself on top of my legs and wouldn't move. She didn't even do her usual meow-in-my-face-and-paw-on-my-bladder jig.

I'm having some soup and about to steal some OJ from a co-worker (actually, I asked).

I want a cupcake tower now.

Can I have cupcakes instead of a wedding cake?

2008-01-07T15:08:00.000-06:00

Hello readers,
Well, let's see. Where should I start? I guess most of you already know that Mike and I got engaged. Woohoo! We're planning a trip at the end of February to check out some wedding venues in New Orleans. Woohoo! That's also my birthday weekend. Woohoo!

Back in reality land, going back to work after a long break sucks. Especially when all I can think about is how awesome it's going to be to get married in New Orleans and then having a mini-freakout about how much planning this actually entails and then worrying about everything already being booked solid through the end of the year.

It's funny that all of my Southern friends and family have no issue with us getting married at the earliest 8 months after getting engaged, but all of the Chicagoans seem to think anything less than 2 years is outrageous. Of course, then there's all the folks who instead of giving me congratulations pipe out what day I cannot have my wedding due to their schedule. Geez. I see the appeal in eloping even more so now.

In other news, it's warm here. Seriously. It was like 4 degrees last week and today it is 63. That, is awesome.

2007-12-21T12:08:00.001-06:00

moar funny pictures

I smell like an old lady

2007-12-11T11:40:00.000-06:00

Somehow, I managed to purchase rose-scented deodorant at Target the other day. Not sure how that happened as I usually aim for unscented or powder fresh. Let me just tell you this, rose-scented deodorant should be reserved for women over the age of 70.

In addition to smelling like Aunt Erma, I'm wearing the cashmere sweater that Mike shrunk a couple of years ago. I don't know why I continue to try to resurrect it. When I put it on it appears presentable, but then once I get moving things go downhill—or uphill if you will—the thing starts rolling up at the bottom and ends up looking more like a crop top. Nice. At least I have a lengthy camisole underneath.

Harumph

2007-12-05T12:52:00.000-06:00

I somehow managed to strain my back while sleeping. Go figure. I took some 800mg Tylenol I had leftover from my tooth situation a while back, and it helped me sleep, but now that I'm up, not so much. I feel old and achy.

I got nailed in the chest last night at dodgeball. Mike thought I got hit in the face and reverted into 8-year-old school-yard behavior with the other team which resulted in his ejection from the game. Thank god that was our last night of dodgeball. We'll be bowling next Tuesday.

My holiday shopping is not going so well. I'm being kind of lethargic about it. Procrastination, I guess. I've bought 2 things and don't have much enthusiasm for the rest. Not that I don't want to get my family nice gifts. I'm just having a hard time motivating myself to seek out said gifts. I sent my grandparents some pears.

Mike and I are planning a road trip down to Louisiana for the holidays, with an overnight stopover in Memphis. We plan to eat some BBQ, check out Beale Street, and hit up Graceland on the way out of town. I've promised a friend that we will take photos on location wearing bejewled sunglasses and sequined jumpers.

Photo of the day

2007-11-14T15:19:00.000-06:00

updating, schmupdating

2007-11-07T15:24:00.000-06:00

I haven't been updating because most of the highlights/lowlights of my life lately have either involved work or family, and I'm trying not to write about either of those here.

Fuck it.

Work:
I'm attempting to craft a personal Zen approach to the job. I guess it would work better if I meditated more. I have been working out regularly-ish, so that seems to help, occasionally. I got a promotion. Yay! I also got a crapload more to do.

Family:
The motherload went missing after blowing off the family get together in Louisville. Then she was found. Apparently the cell fell into dirt and died. In south Louisiana. Not at home sick as initially reported.

And...I'm going to be an auntie! Yay! My sister is not finding out the sex of the baby, nor is she revealing the names she has chosen. I find this annoying. Especially when we have to keep calling the baby "it". It's due the day before my Dad's birthday, isn't that sweet? I'm really excited about being an aunt. Although, I've already been asked to babysit, and that's not really one of my strong points.

Pieces of Information

2007-10-18T14:17:00.000-05:00

Ugh. I feel like someone has injected coffee into my veins. Jittery jittery jittery.

Yesterday, while carrying my lunch back to my office, a piece of industrial twine came out of nowhere and wrapped itself around my feet. I faceplanted onto the sidewalk. My lunch went flying into the air. My hands and knees are all scraped up and it hurts.

Last night, I rode my bike home in the rain.

I didn't sleep. Probably because all week I've been taking either Benadryl or sleep aid. I tossed and turned.

After Mike left for work, Lula would not SHUT UP. She meows like a wild woman while pawing at me while she gets right in my face. Either that, or she plants herself on my bladder and presses down with her paws until I can't take it anymore.

Then she meows like a wild woman until I dispense her treats.

The Balls

2007-10-11T11:03:00.001-05:00

Dodgeball is an intense sport.

My bones ache, my arms are limp, my neck is sore.

But man, it is worth it.

Tuesday night we had our second dodgeball game. We played a group of ridiculous muscle-head asshats that ended up sending one of our best players to the ER. Luckily, it was just a sprain.

The rest of us walked away with bruises and raspberries and sore rotators. Then we went to the bar. Team member Dirty Sanchez (yes our dodgeball team is also porn-themed) struck up a conversation with a guy at the counter. The man inquired about the details.

"We...ugh...play over at the Walt Disney elementary school," the sweatband-clad Sanchez replied.

Yes, we are a porn-themed dodgeball team that plays our games at an elementary school. With a blow-up doll mascot named Judy.

Yes.

I Love Chocolate

2007-10-03T02:56:00.000-05:00

That is all. Please continue.

Yes!

2007-09-25T11:26:00.000-05:00

I had the most awesome night's sleep last night.

Thought I'd share since I always talk here about not getting any sleep.

Also, there is a possibility that our kickball team is going to join a dodgeball league during the winter.

Rawk.

Planning strategery

2007-09-20T11:42:00.000-05:00

I have no idea why this cat is so fascinated with sitting on tissue paper. She hates all of her toys, but the second we pull out some tissue she makes a beeline for it. Needless to say, this particular tissue situation was like cat heaven for her.

Enough about the cat. Let's talk about me. Hmmm, I've actually been feeling pretty productive lately. So much has been going on. This week is pretty insanely packed, in a good way. Tuesday was trivia night, last night was kickball, tonight I have an event for work, tomorrow evening I have work happy hour, tomorrow night I'm going to try to hang out with some friends in from out of town or another friend in from out of country, Saturday I am finally taking my car in to get the recall done (it's been recalled for a while), the cable guy is coming, we have our kickball playoffs, tournament, and end of season party and I am planning another meet up with out-of-town and/or out-of-country friends.

Other things on the agenda? Fri, Sat, & Sun is Wine fest and Sunday there is a massive neighborhood "Dessert Crawl".

Ahh! So much to do!

More Apt! Don't you want to come visit?

2007-09-17T12:22:00.001-05:00

Apartment!

2007-09-11T10:15:00.000-05:00

We still have a good bit of work to do, but I think it's coming along pretty nicely.

I love my new neighborhood

2007-08-30T13:27:00.000-05:00

Today, I walked to work. From my apartment. Not because I didn't have another way to get there, but because I wanted to. The weather is awesome; sunny and cool. I stopped at our neighborhood coffee shop on the way. I ordered a medium Red Eyes blend and a wheat bagel, toasted, with light cream cheese. I gave the barista a dollar tip. She is a petite, thin, older lady. A little grandmotherly and completely endearing. I left some post cards for my company's fundraiser next week on the community table while I waited and wished it was Saturday so I could plop down in one of those comfy red sofa chairs in the back with my morning fare. The other clientele, oddly, seemed to all be men in their late 30's. The two that ordered before I did wanted lattes. The one behind got a large coffee. The barista knew his order before he spoke.

The Count

2007-08-22T13:02:00.000-05:00

3: Number of days until we move!

8: Number of keys to our new apartment.

2: Number of times Lula has pooped on the floor in the past week.

2: Number of times Lula has puked in the past week.

200: Unofficial estimated number of boxes in our apartment.

good lord

2007-08-10T12:18:00.000-05:00

So I head into my flickr contacts page only to see about half of them are all pictures of babies. What the crap?

Babies are frickin everywhere.

Hola Amigos

2007-08-02T17:38:00.000-05:00

I'm back. I'm trying to detox after spending three days consuming my body weight in pina coladas and guacamole. I've also had a stomachache since I've returned, which I'm not sure is a result of said guac and colada consumption or just the standard I've-been-in-Mexico predicament. At any rate, kickball last night was interesting. But I made it through the game fine. And we won!

The wedding was nice, laidback, and my cousin was so purty. I've got some pics up on flickr and will be adding some more soon. Take a good look cause I'm announcing my retirement from bridesmaiding...again. This time for real. Seriously.

Um, really?

2007-07-12T11:33:00.000-05:00

So, with relation to Craigslist, is anything that isn't brand new considered "vintage"?

Just wondering.

everything but the dishwasher

2007-07-11T11:32:00.000-05:00

So yeah, you probably all know by now we found a new place. Our landlord seems really cool, we got the second bedroom, the bigger bathroom, the balcony and even included heat, which is awesome. We've got a huge set of bay windows in the "fronchroom," as Mike likes to say, that is gonna make Lula poop her fuzzy britches.

We get to move in sometime in mid- to late August, which bodes well for us because we are itching to get out of our current place. I'm also extremely pleased that I'll be about one mile from work.

We're gonna have to work on getting more furniture for the place. The first big purchase I have slated is a bed or sleeper sofa for the second bedroom. We also have a formal dining room, so I want to eventually get a nice table. I have my little red kitchen table now, which I imagine will probably be dwarfed in that room.

Also on the list: a microwave, portable dishwasher, balcony table, and framing some prints that have been rolled up for way too long.

I seriously can't wait to get started.

entendu

2007-07-05T10:10:00.000-05:00

I just realized I went the entire month of June without a single post. It's really not like I've been that busy. Just a little uninspired I guess.

I have also not picked up my camera since, well geez, since our trip to Austin in February. Wait, I take that back. I did pick up the camera once since then to take to the Whirling Dervishes performance, but soon realized I could not find any of the rechargeable batteries. Why not just buy some batteries, you ask? Laziness, my friends. Laziness.

Mike and I have begun our search for a new apartment. We have dreams of a second bedroom, a balcony, a dishwasher, and most importantly a bathroom that's bigger than a telephone booth. We've seen two apartments already and the search has already stressed me out to the point of sleepless nights and obsessive compulsive behavior (e.g. checking Craigslist every 10 minutes). We have to move to another neighborhood because the rent prices are too high in ours. We have narrowed our options to two neighborhoods of preference. While both could be tremendously awesome, each has its downfalls and I'm worried that we might find ourselves in a situation where we are miserable for a year.

Plus, I hate moving. I keep telling myself I need to relax, but that doesn't do much good.

When All Else Fails, I Can Talk Booze

2007-05-31T17:20:00.000-05:00

On Beer:

So there's been some excitment lately among the Shiner familiarus crowd over the beer's recent introduction into the city. However, while I do like a nice cold Shiner, I have to admit that the local beer in the Midwest is much, much more intriguing to me than anything I encountered in the South/Southwest (That even includes you, beloved Abita.)

Here are some of my favorites so far:

Leinenkugel Brewery. I recently introduced myself to the Sunset Wheat which is very refreshing and different. It makes me smile. I also like their red lager. It makes me smile too.

Great Lakes Brewing Company has some solid selections. Holy Moses, Burning River and Edmund Fitzgerald rock. As in, they are so good they will melt your face.

Then of course there's Goose Island. Mike's been grabbing up their Matilda which is liquid gold, as well as the Imperial IPA and Demolition. As far as everyday beers, the 312 and Honker's Ale are readily available at most bars, which to me is a most welcome departure from standard domestics, and their regular IPA and Summertime brew are drinkalicious. I made that word up. But it's true.

Piece has some good brews, although the few times I've been there I've been too drunk to remember exactly what I was drinking. Their pizza is good too.

I've seen Three Floyds circulating on the barbecue circuit, but I'm not sure that I've tried any. Their labels are interesting. Perhaps it will be my next choice.

New favorite drink

2007-05-23T18:11:00.000-05:00

This is so delicious. Had it at Proof on Main in Louisville. They call it "Sweet Tea" there.

Charbay Green Tea Vodka
Chambord
Lemon
Basil leaves

Mmmm. So. Freaking. Good.

Maternal Non-stinct

2007-05-23T10:12:00.000-05:00

I loathe double strollers.

You know, the kind that take up the whole freaking sidewalk. The kind that have that one front wheel for jogging purposes.

That shit should be banned.

Thank you, that is all.

refreshment

2007-04-26T18:27:00.000-05:00

I love ginger ale.

I'm sleepy.

I have 2 new teeth, sort of, by way of crowns. They are a shade whiter than the rest of my teeth "in case I want to get a whitening. There's $99 special this month!" Gee. Thanks. On top of the nearly $2,000 I paid for the rest of the work, not to mention the three visits that totaled about 6.5 hours in the dentist chair, sure, let's just throw that on top of it too! Um no.

Did I mention I was sleepy?

While waiting in the aforementioned dentist chair I managed to peruse a few snippets of Anna Nicole's diary. Now that's some compelling stuff.

I like this Andrew Bird character. I just looked him up on Wikipedia. Glockenspiel was mentioned. Glockenspiel is an awesome word. Glockenspiel playing is awesome.

I think I have pink eye

2007-04-12T14:52:00.000-05:00

Can stress cause pink eye?

Otherwise, I assume it's allergy-related pink itchy eye spot syndrome.

In other news, mandatory chewing on one side of the mouth is much harder than it sounds. Getting crowns sucks.

whasnlsah.

2007-04-04T14:55:00.001-05:00

Mine eyes hurt.

OK, OK

2007-04-02T16:05:00.000-05:00

Not much going on in the land of Lou. Had a little miscommunication at the pharmacy Saturday wherein the pharmacist was unaware of the insurance company's decision to change the way my medication was counted. I ended up paying more than $200 for my migraine meds and freaking out because the pharmacist explained to me that my "insurance company has decided that it is no longer going to pay for the medicine." Because I had a migraine at the time (it was an emergency visit to CVS) and at any moment was going to vomit on the floor, I yelled at her that I would need to have that medication now and that I would pay for it, all $200+ of it. She wasn't too friendly to me either, saying that I needed to find an alternate medication because it was too expensive. At any rate, I calmly (no seriously, I was calm) consulted my insurance company today, and it turns out that the way pharmacist imputed the amount of medication -- he/she (there were 2 people) put in 6 because 6 doses come in the box --it looked like I was trying to get 6 BOXES of the medicine. OK, so I get the confusion, and of course if I were an insurance company I would red flag that. But here's what I don't get. When I spoke to the insurance lady today it seemed as if this was something that was happening frequently and it was super easy to pinpoint the problem and resolve. (I get my money back except for my regular co-pay). However, Pharmacist number one explained that he spoke with my insurance company. Why the hell didn't he receive the same info? And why was pharmacist number 2 such an ass? BS CVS pharmacists.

Gah!

2007-03-15T16:35:00.000-05:00

I just realized that I have holes on both the inside thighs of my jeans.

I miss vacation

2007-03-02T11:54:00.000-06:00

Is it frostbite?

2007-02-16T15:42:00.000-06:00

My toes are all blistered up. They itch and hurt and sting. Aagggh.

Seriously, I Need Funny

2007-02-08T18:40:00.000-06:00

OK, I really need to get out of this funk I am in. Chocolate is not helping. Sleep isn't working. And I'm too irritable for any physical contact (i.e. sex) or human interaction.

So, I'm thinking I need a good dose of laughter. Tell me, what are some of your favorite funny movies?

Anyone? Ideas?

Old Man Winter

2007-01-31T19:08:00.000-06:00

I just bought tickets to Cabo, Mexico. When is the trip to Cabo, you ask? Late July. I think I am trying to stave off S.A.D. and trick myself into thinking summer is just around the corner. Clearly, I am delusional. But a girl can dream. Right now I am dreaming of sand and coconut-flavored adult beverages.

Reality: it is cold. And getting colder. And summer is a shimmer of light in a galaxy far away. Forecasted high on Sunday is 10. I've never before heard or seen the term "brutally cold" until the other day when Tom Skilling spewed forth the infernal phrase, referring to the effects of an approaching "Siberian air mass." Or was it Arctic? Are those two interchangeable? This morning, my car was making weird creaking noises I had never heard before, as if to say you godammed bitch why are you making me move in this unbearable foreign cold? (After all, my Jeep is a Louisiana native as well).

The good thing is, we are headed to Austin in February, for my birthday, to visit Sidetracked and Seize the Dave, and Scattershot, who will be migrating in from California. Good times will be had, but right now what's got me salivating are the 67-68 degree average highs in late February in Austin. Please let it be average!

In other news, I've been thinking about chocolate alot lately. Especially hot chocolate made with real chocolate pieces melted in milk that is all steamy and frothy at the top. Oh dear lord.

Complaint

2007-01-29T15:22:00.000-06:00

Why can't they make Crystal Light "On the Go" in single serving packets? I mean, how the hell am I supposed to accurately determine how much is half a pack of powder. And really, who is wheeling around with a freaking 20 oz bottle/cup? More like 8-12 oz. I am annoyed. This could be because I had no sleep last night, it's Monday, and the waist of my jeans is digging into the healing incision where I had a mole cut out.

Coming Back

2007-01-03T16:25:00.000-06:00

After a 10 day vacation, it has been a little hard readjusting to a work schedule. My body is telling me I should be taking a nap right about now, or sipping on some eggnog while inhaling green and red M&Ms. Christmas break was awesome. I got a bunch of great gifts, had a nice time in Louisiana, and drank my way through the turn of the new year.

I have some photos to upload, but of course I keep forgetting to bring my camera cord. You should be seeing those in about 6 months.

As for new year's resolutions, I really don't make them. I typically try to follow this simple motto: do better. There are plenty of recurring themes in my life that need attention - health, diet, exercise, being more financially conservative, being nice to my family, controlling alcohol consumption, not hating everybody, etc. My goal is to work on all things and do better. Oh and read Ulysses.

Speaking of books, I finished reading The Kite Runner while on break. As well as the Devil Wears Prada (movie and book). I thought The Kite Runner was outstanding, but I have to say, I found myself feeling horrified at the Devil Wears Prada. I did not think it to be quite as funny as everyone suggested I would. There are probably a few reasons for that I won't point out here.

On the schedule for tonight: Shape's Bikini Body Camp. Let me just tell you this series of workouts is KICKING MY ASS.

Thank you, that is all.

This post has absolutely no point

2006-12-13T15:04:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, I took a quiz online that told me my animal personality was a Bear. Then I took the quiz again, but it had different questions, and that time I turned out to be a Chameleon. I lead with this statement not because it has any interest to you, but merely because I have nothing else to say. I'm pretty much running on auto pilot, having been somewhat zombified by the "season."

Also yesterday, I received the most awesomest Christmas cheer package from my dad: The Super Moose Munch Crunch Party Drum. Disgustingly delicious.

This past weekend, I ventured down to south Louisiana for a family wedding. I'd have to say the highlight of the actual wedding ceremony, which incidentally was a full mass, was right after the communion bit when one of the priest guys carried his wine goblet over to a table to the side and started chugging the leftovers. Then he proceeded to drain the leftover wine out of the other priest guys' goblets. Right on. I wasn't sure if this was customary mass behavior or just the fact that we were in south Louisiana.

Oh, and there was this:

OK, I think that's all for today.

Sounds About Right

2006-12-12T15:48:00.000-06:00

What Is Your Animal Personality?

Bear
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It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

2006-11-29T12:05:00.000-06:00

Please tell me why television programming last night, Tuesday, November 28, included not one, but all of the following movies: Elf, Scrooged, Charlie Brown Christmas, and some random KMart Christmas novie about "real" people? It's not even December yet! I watched the tail end of Charlie Brown and Elf. I wonder what's coming on tonight. I didn't check, but I'm betting on on of those Tim Allen Santa movies or maybe Home Alone. Sunday, we have our office Christmas party. Too early. But at least we get a week off for Christmas. I'll be traveling to Louisiana for the break. With Mike in tow, hopefully on valium for the plane ride. (Note to self: ask stepmother for valium.)

Happy Thanksgiving!

2006-11-22T17:36:00.000-06:00

The Juice is Loose

2006-11-15T12:12:00.000-06:00

Is this for real? For a second there I thought I was reading The Onion. No words my friends, no words.

In other news, we've had a hella crazy few weeks at work. I'm broke, but I have completed nearly all of my holiday shopping. And in another I-heart-the-internets move, I've ordered all of my Thanksgiving meal groceries to be delivered to my apartment Monday night. Woop! Why Monday, you ask? That's because Tuesday we have an office karaoke party. That's right, a party, for work, involving karaoke. Right. Why not get the groceries Wednesday, you ask? That's because I am anal and want to make sure if they forget something, then I still have plenty of time to go to the store and buy it before Thursday. Otherwise, things could get really ugly.

Anyhoo. That's about it for today. I'll try to come up with something more profound to write about, but I'm not promising anything.

Thank you, that is all.

Monday Random Thought

2006-11-06T14:49:00.000-06:00

I am not a fan of chilled soup.

Rest in Peace Muffaleta

2006-10-27T17:19:00.000-05:00

Golden Bran Muffin III 1992-2006

I'll miss you.

Needed: Halloween Costume Ideas

2006-10-26T12:17:00.000-05:00

For Me and Mike.

We are currently considering K-Fed and Britney. However, it may be way to cold for wife beaters and flip flops. We have access to the following items:

*afro wig
*mullet wig
*bunny ears
*various hawaiian attire
*various Harley Davidson/pleather/S&M things (from the costume box I swear!)
*Mexican dress thing
*hippie wear -- ripped and patched jeans, shirt, blue lens glasses, orange flower pants
*Fudruckers uniform

Please note that we would like to spend a negligable amount of cash on these costumes. Our party is on Saturday night.

I'm opening up the discussion boards.

Autumn Delicious

2006-10-09T13:34:00.000-05:00

I was surprised to find the local sheriff directing traffic upon our arrival at Apple Holler. I had no idea there would be so many apple pickers. In fact, I somewhat expected the place to be semi-deserted on a Sunday morning in middle of nowhere Wisconsin. I was so wrong. We arrived around 10:30 am and already there were lines for all of the attractions, including not only the apple pickin' but also hayrides, corn mazes, the home cookin' restaurant, kettle corn, wagon rentals, and even the general store. Shrieking children grasped plastic bags yet to be filled with shiny crisp fruit and pointed with glee as they passed the mountain goat habitat. Later they would request some time in the bouncey house near the corn maze. We purchased our mandatory 1/2 bushel sack and headed out into the orchard. "There's a ton of Jonathans about ten trees down that row," shouted a mustached man while clutching a bag so full it threatened to topple over his shoulder. The man looked really excited about the Jonathans so we headed that way. We found them, packed a few, and rolled on to stock up Rome, Red Delicious, Golden Delicious, and Cortlands. The weather was absolutely beautiful. Warm and breezy and sunny. We came across three tall rusty old silos where some visitors were hurling rotten apples, trying to make it into the holes at the top. Either that or just enjoying the "splat" of the fruit as it hit the side of the structure. Mike, of course, was eager to participate in this activity. When we decided to move along, a crowd had gathered and began cheering with each person's throw. Our bag quickly became so stuffed that Mike had to begin carrying it on his shoulder like a sack of cement. We now understood what all of the wagons were about. Next year we'll rent a wagin, dammit. Because Mike was handling the 50lb apple bag, and I am a wimp, we had to settle for some smaller pumpkins so that I could carry them all the way back to the car. But they are cute and I put them on our front steps when we got home. When we got back to the town center of Apple Holler, we were greeted by the sounds of the resident Reggae band. This was a spectacle. We quickly paid for our pumpkins, scored some fresh out of the kettle kettle corn and took off down the road to our next destination, Mars' Cheese Castle.

Nostalgia

2006-10-06T15:55:00.000-05:00

I really miss bacon. And brats. But mostly bacon.

Today is Monday

2006-10-02T12:58:00.000-05:00

I just looked in the mirror and realized that my eyebrows are totally out of control.

Random Thought

2006-09-27T17:18:00.000-05:00

I had a teacher in high school, my Physics teacher, who used to say he loved the sensation you feel when you burp a soda (particularly Coca-cola) through your nose. At the time I thought this was insanely gross. But quite frankly, I'm now thinking I might agree.

This post is probably going to be whiny

2006-09-22T02:05:00.000-05:00

Or wine-y as in I had way too much last night and woke up at 3am with a headache, dry mouth, and a very very unhappy tummy. But I cured myself with a huge serving of scrambled eggs and hash browns from the corner coffee house by my office. Things are rolling slow around here as everyone is wiped out from the fundraiser we put on last night. It was a first for all of us, and dear lord is it a lot of work. I will never ever ever consider being an event planner. Ever. But the shindig went well - we had a bigger turnout than we expected. Today we have to edit drafts, which sucks. So the busy times, they won't end for another two weeks. But then I get go to NYC for a weekend of big apple fun. Woop! We've got a friend in town this weekend and a party tonight and I'm gonna need a lot of caffeine.
Thank you, that is all.

Boots

2006-08-31T14:43:00.000-05:00

I really don't have much to say. There was an extreme burnt popcorn incident yesterday afternoon and everything still smells like it in the office. It's giving me a headache. Erg. So, I want some tall boots for fall. I've wanted some tall boots for the last five years, maybe more. The problem is that I have very athletic calves and I've had the most godawful time trying to find a pair of tall boots that will zip up all the way without pinching the crap out of me. The second problem is that if I do find a pair big enough to zip, they are almost assuredly going to be too big around my ankles. Small ankles + big calves = no tall boots. I've looked at some on Zappos.com. But I'm lazy, so I don't want to have to order something with the possibility of having to send it back. Also, along that same line, I don't want to have to take them to a shoe person to get "stretched." That involves too much effort. Anyhoo. I'm hoping to go shopping this weekend and find a pair of boots. Wish me luck.

p.s. I'm aware that this is a riveting post. I'll try to come up with something better. Promise.

No More I Tell You

2006-08-17T15:19:00.000-05:00

I've decided I'm banning red peppers. Those bitches are in every recipe and I'm sick of it.

Wanted:

2006-08-11T16:29:00.000-05:00

(in the following order)
1. Nap
2. Vitamin Water or Arizona Iced Tea
3. Nap
4. Another pair of (more comfortable) shoes to wear home
5. Beer

HotHotHeatHotHot

2006-08-02T02:38:00.000-05:00

I know. I'm supposed to be used to heat and all. I mean I lived in the South for 25 years for godsake. But the difference is that in the South, everyone is prepared for heat. Here, it's a whole different story. Mainly lack of A/C. Ugh. Yesterday our office was experiencing what is called a "rolling" blackout. Half of our power was on, half was out. Then everything starting going in and out. The fan came back on, but really slowly revolving and the lights came back on but were glowing an eerie red as they didn't have full power. And the A/C was down completely. We suffered in pools of sweat for about an two hours, waiting for our landlord, who is completely unreliable, to give us word. Then we went home. My little window unit at home was on full speed, but the cat and I, we were still a bit uncomfortable. At least our air was working, which wasn't the same for a whole bunch of people. I would have been very very angry if I had no air. Anyhoo. Working from home was kind of obnoxious as my laptop is still very ill and moving like a Slow Lorus. Today our power is back on and our A/C is too, although it feels more like luke warm air coming out. It's bearable to get work done. Our water cooler is empty, and we were supposed to get our refills today, but the Hinckley Springs guys is nowhere to be found. So, one of our staff went across the street to get some cold water only to find the CVS coolers are down. I can't wait for this damn cold front to come through. And I can't believe I'm saying that in Chicago!

p.s. I'm a little loopy from the heat, so if I don't make sense, that's why. My eyes are starting to glaze over a little bit.

Sweet

2006-07-26T13:53:00.000-05:00

I might need one of these.

Venting

2006-07-20T13:42:00.000-05:00

Ugh. I'm so tired my eyes are watering. This is my third day working on an extremely skeletal accumulation of actual sleep hours. All I can manage to do today is scroll through the reality recaps on tvgasm stopping only to glance at the pictures and maybe, just maybe, read over the photo captions. I just rambled on to some PR lady about our editorial calendar for 20 minutes. I think she was relieved to get me off the phone -- and she called me. I really don't have much else to write about. I'm tired, I feel crappy, and I really have to workout when I get home because alas, my plan to do that last night was foiled by a f-ing 1 1/2 hour EL ride home. That's right 90 minutes stuck on a train that smells like urine with a bratty child looking out the window every five seconds stating "Day-ang", and then randomly clapping his hands. At first he was cute, but as in all scenarios that involve me and children, I grew tired of his comments in about one minute. Two tops.

Porquoi?

2006-07-19T18:35:00.000-05:00

Is it abnormal that I have no desire to hold a baby?

Reading Rainbow

2006-07-14T02:52:00.000-05:00

I have this overwhelming urge to be on my couch reading a book right now. More specifically, the Eudora Welty short story collection, "A Curtain of Green", that I've been digging for the past couple of weeks. I'd forgotten how much I love Welty's short stories. I remember back in high school I had to read "A Delta Wedding" as a part of my summer reading list in English class. I hated it. Hated. Of course I was a snobby brat of a teenager mostly interested in reading Glamour while spending close to 7 hours a day baking myself in the sun only taking a break at noon for Days of Our Lives*. For the most part, my vivid recollection of the novel was that the wedding sequence only lasted for about a paragraph out of 300 pages or something and the bridesmaids in the wedding wore a rainbow of pastel colored dresses, something which Rebekah L. would copy in her straight-out-of-high-school wedding, the outcome of which ended with the couple living in a trailer in the front yard of the bride's parents home in rural north Louisiana. I've never given Delta Wedding a second chance, but in college I was introduced to Welty again in the form of short story, particularly, "Petrified Man," which I found incredible at the time. I wrote my term paper on that, along with a few selections from Miss Flannery O'Connor and Mr. Faulkner. I reread Petrified Man the other night, and found just as amusing and intriguing as the first time. So far I've only read three other stories in this collection, and I've enjoyed all of them. I can't wait to read more and today would be the perfect day. It's cloudy and rainy outside and I'm a little lethargic from having just polished off a grilled cheese with avocado and tomato. Anyway, maybe after I finish this book I'll consider giving Delta Wedding a second chance, but I don't know, the real life version still haunts me a little.

*Stefano = greatest soap opera villain of all time.

100 calorie pack my ass

2006-07-11T18:30:00.000-05:00

I was warned that the sleeping pill would make me hungry. Now, as I sit here throwing popcorn at my face, and by default onto the floor and all over my desk, I am convinced that the warning was legit.

Run down of today's food intake:
8:30 a.m. 1 Large bowl of Kashi & soy milk
9:45 a.m. 1 Large cup coffee with sugar & soy milk
11 a.m. Snyder's Peanut Butter filled pretzels, many
noon Amy's bean & cheese burrito, 1 can diet Pepsi
12:45 p.m. 1 medium sized Peach
1:30 p.m. 1 Edy's Strawberry popsicle
2:15 p.m. Various chocolate candy pieces including chocolate covered almonds, sunflower seeds and peanuts
3:15 p.m. Handful of regular almonds
3:30 p.m. Another handful of almonds
4: 15 p.m. 1 Bag of popcorn

I am out of control.

I Heart The Internets

2006-06-28T14:33:00.000-05:00

Some might say I have an addiction. Others might chalk it up to misanthropic tendencies. Either way, I'd much rather shop online than visit a retail venue in the flesh. Lines, people, lines, rude salespeople, dumb salespeople who try to sell me a lacy stringy wimpy bra made for a thirteen-year-old girl when I am clearly sporting nothing short of a bodacious support-needing D cup, bumper cars with shopping carts, not finding what I want, getting home and realizing I've forgotten the one thing I actually went shopping for in the first place - the list, it could go on and on. One thing I loathe particularly, beside the pushy gay man in Victoria's Secret and his dental floss bra, is going to the the grocery store, especially going to the grocery store on a week night. Until now, I've hesitatingly made the trek when absolutely necessary only to come home flustered and irritable and missing the Ibuprofen I meant to buy that would combat my headache. I've always been tempted to do the grocery delivery thing, but felt that it would be a little too yuppie. Shopping for clothes and gifts online, that's one thing. Groceries, though, that's another. And I have to admit, I still feel a little embarassed admitting this, although I'm not sure why now, but I've just placed my second order for groceries at Peapod.com. I'm not one hundred percent sure yet, but I may be in love.

Melon Heads

2006-06-19T17:52:00.000-05:00

Mama used to keep her watermelon on the floor in the kitchen, just beneath the air conditioner vent, which was peculiarly low to the ground. This system guaranteed that the watermelon would stay very cool and free up space in her refrigerator, a space that always housed a wide supply of leftovers that could be heated up in a matter of minutes for a hearty homecooked meal. Mama loves watermelon in the summer, and when summertime rolls around, I can't help but recall all those hot afternoons taking a break at Mama's kitchen table (the one that had a white top with golden specks) and enjoying a huge slice alongside her. She had an old black metal fan blowing to cool off the room and the light from the window highlighted an open page in her copy of "The Upper Room". Sometimes Mama would sprinkle salt on her slice, and often I would follow suit. She was much better at spitting out the seeds than I was, my method employed more of a pick and flick style with the fork. Whenever I declared I was finished, Mama nonchalantly picked up my rind and gnawed the last remaining bit of fruit away. She never wastes anything. Every now and then Papa would breeze by with his daily crossword in tow. He keeps them on a clipboard, has for years. He needs me to help him with one word. It's an easy one he's left knowing that I will be able to come up with the answer. He claps and laughs heartily when I get it and pats me on the shoulder and kisses my forehead. He calls me "Lauren Pooh." Sometimes Mama and I would have Canteloupe. I wasn't allowed to have it at home, my mother hated everything about the orange-meated melon. She hated mostly the way it smelled, and for that reason, I had to enjoy the fruit elsewhere. I liked that though. Because it was something that Mama and I shared alone, like we were exiled into our own little world, just me and her, slurping on our favorite summer fruit, smiling at our secret delight, and spitting out seeds.

In Your Face Lance

2006-06-16T13:52:00.000-05:00

OK, so not really, but I did ride my bike to work and back yesterday. Yep, I actually participated in Bike to Work Week (except for me it was just the one day, I drove my gas guzzling SUV the rest of the week). The journey was about 14 miles total, 45 minutes each way. I managed to complete the mission with relative ease. Although I failed to consider the extent of sweating that would occur whilst pedaling down the Lake Shore path. I didn't really even notice it until I was almost to work and raindrops of sweat began to drop from my forehead into my eyes. Then I tugged the back of my shirt down -- an uh-oh on two levels: One, I'm pretty sure my electric blue panties had been showing the entire time and two, the back of my shirt was completely soaked. When I arrived at work and dismantled my backpack and bike helmet I realized that it would've been a really good idea to bring an ENTIRE change of clothes. After gulping down about a liter of cold water and a good half hour of standing under the AC vent I finally cooled down.

The ride home was pretty nice and I was feeling more comfortable on the bike (I failed to mention above that I haven't ridden in more than three years). But the best part was when I arrived at home and was greeted by an assortment of beautiful lavender and peach colored roses. Thanks sweets! I took a bath (after a frightening run in with the resident bathroom spider) and then ate some delicious Yaki Udon, had a glass of wine, had some chocolate followed by a mugful of green tea ice cream. After that I managed to read one story in "Naked" and then I proceeded to pass out around 9:30pm.

All in all, it was a rather good day, and I am pretty damn proud of myself. I think I will try the riding to work again next week, of course with a change of clothes in tow.

Why I treated myself to a $10 salad for lunch

2006-06-14T18:21:00.000-05:00

Run down of this morning: Slept late, smashed hand, lost one of my favorite earrings, stepped outside to jog (even though running late because weather forecasted rain later and I really needed to get in a good run), realized my Mp3 battery was dead, returned inside and proceeded to try every available double A in the apartment only to find they were all dead, ran half of usual distance due to lack of musical motivation (and have been really pissed off all day because now I have to exercise more when I get home), stupidly determined a belt was not necessary with the final outfit chosen to wear (out of about 3-4 choices), have been pulling up falling pants all day, couldn't get into a parking spot that was big enough to fit two of my cars, scowled angrily at an innocent man holding up a carwash sign, etc.

The salad was delicious, enough for two meals, chock full of avocado, sprouts, baby tomatoes, spinach, arugala, romaine, cabbage, sunflower seeds, green pepper, red pepper, jack cheese, sprouts, red onions, topped with yogurt ranch dressing and sided with homemade cornbread and butter.

Furniture Fairies Send Us a Bookshelf!

2006-06-05T16:21:00.000-05:00

It's not like we needed any more books to add to our growing mountain of literature in the corner, but of course, we did need them. Especially when we had cash to spend and the average price ranged from $1 to $5 per book and there were thousands and thousands of them gleaming before our greedy little eyes. Ah, the Printer's Row Book Fair. Mike blew all of his cash on, naturally, another copy of Infinite Jest. But this one was a first edition. A solid addition to the beginnings of a legitimate collection. Maybe if the collection grows big enough I can dissuade Mike of his desire to name our first born David Foster Wallace Innocenzi. Not having any kind of bizarre crush on any one particular author enough to warrant purchasing a first edition, although I must admit the idea of posessing a first edition of, for instance, Franny and Zooey, did seem quite enticing at the time, I decided to stock up on some summer reading because I am hoping to spend ample time on my ass at the beach. I procured the following: Naked by David Sedaris, The 2004 Best American "Mystery" series, and Eudora Welty's first collection of short stories. And for the non-existent book shelf we will add a $4 hardcover edition of Song of Solomon, Ulysses, which I will make it through godammit, and some collection of 60's writers thoughts on politics or something (it cost $1 and the cover looked cool). Fun times. Definitely. Now I better get to reading.

Today is Thursday

2006-06-01T12:38:00.000-05:00

I'm still recovering from the big weekend. So for now, I'm going to post a pic of Lula before she came to live with me that we recently found while cleaning up some computer files at the office. I like to call it "Christmas Cheer."

Green Acres

2006-05-22T17:19:00.000-05:00

Cheese curds emit this incredible squeaky sound when you chew them. I've read about this phenomenon, somewhere, before, but growing up in the land of industrial cotton didn't reward me with a firsthand experience of the mythological treat. I'd never seen one; I imagined that they were kind of like a Cheeto. Also, in somewhat of an aside, whenever I hear the word "curd" I can't help but imagining the girl (what was her name?) in the nursery rhyme eating her proverbial curds and whey (minus the next part about the spider). But like a Cheeto, curds are not, well, except for the incredibly fun-to-eat part. I am now a fan. Of course, I didn't know the proper eating etiquitte of cheese curds -- that you really shouldn't keep them more than a day, and that you definitely shouldn't refrigerate them because they loose squeak power -- so I wish I had polished off the entire bag at once as my internal urge had demanded. I can't wait for the Wisconsin Cheese Festival. And I am being totally serious. I heart cheese.

The cheese curds were purchased at the opening day of the Farmer's Market just around the corner from our apartment. We were among some of the early arrivers and scored, in addition to the curds, some magnificant granola, honey, artichoke pesto, and a beautiful bunch of Iris flowers (my favorite!). I can't wait to go back next week and get some fresh vegetables (most likely asparagus) and herbs to cook a delicious meal. I also want more cheese curds.

Cooking Noodles

2006-05-16T21:44:00.000-05:00

I've been told I need to update my blog.

So here it is. Not much going on. I'm waiting for the shells of my alfredo shells and cheese (Annies brand!) to cook. For some reason I think the left front (or is it front left?) burner doesn't get as hot as the front right. Also, our stove is slanted. Makes for complications w/r/t olive oil distribution, but for boiling noodles, I'm not sure it makes a difference. Anyhoo. I haven't had much to complain about lately, which is why I've not updated in a while. We bought Lula a velour leopard print "crinkle" tunnel. Because of her bizarre obsession with tissue paper, we thought the tunnel would be a hit for sure. Not so much. She only sticks her head in when treats are placed in there. If catnip is in there she'll run through it really fast. By the way, she DOES like catnip. I guess she's a purist because any attempts at presenting her with catnip treats or a windup catnip rat were dismissed with repulsion. But the second we sprinkled some of the real stuff on the ground she behaved like a normal cat: batshit crazy. So that's about it, OH except for the Grey's Anatomy finale. WTF? I had to drink heavily to make it through night 2 of the finale. I mean a fucking prom? And don't even get me started on Izzy. The only person on that show that doesn't make me want to pull my hair out and walk around in a dirty shredded pink bathrobe is Bailey. Geez. I hope next season gets back on track.

Oop. Noodles are ready. That is all.

Yes, I get drunk dialed by my parents

2006-05-03T12:28:00.000-05:00

Role reversals seem to crop their heads quite frequently in the family of disFUNction. My dad and his wife (and well, the rest of my dad's side of the family) are in New Orleans for the trial. Can't explain more, except it's a legal dispute over the estate of a deceased uncle (he died like three years ago).

However, I was not aware of that last night when I received a call from my Dad's cell.

"Hi Lauren! It's Dad! I'm on Bourbon Street!" Oh dear, I thought, is this payback for all those times in college I called him shouting the exact same line?

Then Dad's wife grabs the phone. Incoherent Bourbon Street babble. Then the phone cuts out. At first I was excited to hear that things seemed to be back to normal in the Quarter. Then I was like, wait, it's TUESDAY night. WTF? What middle agers/borderline senior citizens go out on Bourbon Street on a random Tuesday night?

I took a sleeping pill and went to bed.

Then, this morning I got the obligatory drunk-dial apology call from my Dad's wife that explained it all. I told her to eat a Beignet for me.

Fug

2006-04-26T16:44:00.000-05:00

This is cracking me up today. Especially that photo in "Act III."

Ants, Part III: The Return of the Sting

2006-04-20T18:53:00.000-05:00

Remember how I had the massive ant infestation problem in my apartment in Dallas? Let me jog your memory. That was the second incidence. The first was when they attacked a Starbuck's hot chocolate and my pantry.

Well, my friends, either I'm cursed or the fuckers found some way to hop on our Budget truck, commute nearly 1,000 miles and survive the Chicago winter only to resurface months later and fuck with my poor little cat (well her food, actually).

So naturally, I doused them with Raid, flushed a few, dumped the food and blocked off the area with a chair so Lula wouldn't be tempted to sniff.

I am very, very, very, extremely afraid I am going to come home to a massive swarm of ants that have taken over my apartment and a highly distraught kitty.

In the event that this does occur, I will have no choice but to declare war.

Waiting

2006-04-13T15:22:00.000-05:00

I'm waiting until 2pm to drink my Diet A&W Root Beer. I feel like 2pm is a good time for an afternoon treat.

The Nature of the Beast

2006-04-07T12:45:00.000-05:00

I receive a lot of information from PETA and PETA-related organizations at work. In fact I was reading about this and then this just this morning. While I realize the radical nature of PETA, I have to admit, all of this exposure to animal rights has increased my desire to wean myself off of meat.

But even before I took this job I had become more conscious of my choices with regards to meat. For dietary purposes mostly, I'd choose veggie burger over cheeseburger. Ideally, I'd be a vegetarian, for both ethical and health reasons. But man do I love cheeseburgers. And steak. And chicken is just so damn easy to order anywhere you go. And don't even get me started on bacon. It's tough to give that up. I went for about five or six years without eating red meat (in high school and college). It wasn't that big of a deal except I had to keep reminding my Dad when he was at the grill that I had to eat chicken or veggie or turkey burgers, which he did not understand. Thanks to The Wear and a delicious 1/3 lb cheeseburger at Fudrucker's in college, I jumped back on the red meat wagon and haven't been off since.

But nowadays I'm becoming more cautious about what I put into my body. I'm trying to give up soda and sugar. I try to order healthier options when dining out or buying groceries. Whole Foods is becoming my standard grocery store option. And while I don't think I could go full-fledged vegetarian, I think I could make some efforts to choose non-meat whenever I can...At least, after the Argentinan steakhouse we are going to tonight.

Just Saying

2006-04-04T22:58:00.000-05:00

For future reference, if the new Thai delivery order-taker man asks if you want to try the new "delicious" dessert, say No. Especially if you're planning on eating the Spicy Crazy Noodles and some of your dining partner's Green Curry Beef.

Sweet

2006-03-31T15:40:00.001-06:00

OK, so I think the sickness has passed. At least, that's what I'm telling myself so I can quench my overwhelming thirst for beer this evening.

I don't know what it was, but for some reason ever since I caught this nasty bug (which I'm blaming on one of those damn kids from the Field Museum) I've only wanted to eat sweets. Of course, this phenomenon could be due to the pairing of said sickness with the arrival of my period. I have been party to not one, but two cake-making episodes this week. And I'm pretty sure that I've consumed the majority of both of those cakes (one cookie, one Funfetti, both with vanilla icing). I just polished off the last of the cookie cake here at work and my eyes are beginning to twitch. I may have to go into sugar detox.

Last night we enjoyed a nice glass of wine on our front steps. The rise in temperature had the neighborhood bustling - and (even though I couldn't really taste the wine due to congestion) it was exciting because we began to realize that this is why people stay here through the winter. This is what we pay for. Wine, warm breeze, seagulls flapping overhead, Lula at the screened window meowing at us and sniffing the new smells she's not been exposed to all winter. People watching on our stoop. Barbecue in the air. Spring. Ahh.

This Week: A Photo Essay

2006-03-29T11:35:00.000-06:00

Suffer No More

2006-03-21T14:16:00.000-06:00

Ummm I'm at a loss for words.

Welcome to Our Town, Belated

2006-03-16T15:57:00.000-06:00

Someone caught wind that Mike and I moved into the neighborhood. Because now, after living somewhat peacefully for the last four months, our mail slot is being incessantly jammed full of "Welcome to Our Town" paraphernalia. We've gotten letters and flyers and vouchers and coupons (all addressed to us personally nonetheless) from possibly 75% of the businesses in the area, from dentists to restaurants to nail salons to insurance agents. It's gotten so bad that I have to cradle the mail in my arms just to get it the three feet from the box to the kitchen table. I feel like pulling a Kramer; I just don't want to get mail anymore. No more! I'd like to know who told them.

In other news, the weekend, as you may already know, was jammed full of fun (not mail). I miss our out of town guests already. I think the cat does too. She keeps pawing at the empty Stella beer box.